Newsworthy!

Look at those cute kids.  What could be better than three adorable, kind, well-behaved (of course I'm going to say that) children?

The answer to that question would be FOUR adorable, kind, well-behaved children. 

Yep, you read that right.  We are going to have a baby!!!!  We are so very excited about this!!!!

At this point in the blog I am going to start typing random thoughts about our journey to 4 kids which may or may not seem like an overshare to you.  So this is your"spoiler" alert.  If you are satisfied by the "We are going to have a baby." line. Then skip directly to the comment section and gush about this news. 

I had always hoped to have our kids closer together and in a shorter amount of time than life had planned for us.  I don't think 4 years apart is ideal child spacing and had a very hard time with the journey and resources it took to get both Noah and Lauren in our family.  The fact that we didn't have to fight with all of our being to have Ella as a part of our family is a huge blessing to me.  I hear people say "Oh it would be fun to "try" for a while."  and while trying is of course not ever as bad as some tedious job that no one wants to do, it can be frustrating and sad.  I am grateful for modern medicine.  I am grateful for a loving and patient husband.  They say that hindsight is 20/20 and I'm pretty sure this is the way things were supposed to work out for us.  We needed to be out of school and have some really great insurance for Lauren.  The IV treatments and finally the medication for the hyper-nausea would not have been possible, or would have sunk us for a really long time.  I have not ever had pleasant pregnancies.  I gained a grand total of 13 pounds with Lauren.  Ella was better, we knew what to expect and were prepared right from the start.  With this little one as well.  The Zofran was filled the day the stick turned pink.  I have spent the last 10 weeks fighting a daily battle with never-ending nausea.  I feel a little bit like a shadow of myself.  I can see who I really am and who I want to be but, somehow can't make myself be her.  I know I will feel human agian, but right now a medically induced coma does not sound half bad.  I am so jealous of people who have family around.  I am also a little bit jealous of women whose husbands can shirk some of their Church responsibilites and shrug it off for a little while.  I just want to yell at them "You aren't the only one."  Admittedly I did think about what this would mean for our life right now.  Chris is the Chair of a huge department at ISU, he is getting a Masters in Public Health, and is the Bishop.  I have 3 other kids and a lot of expectations placed on me in many areas.  Why would anyone do this?  What person in their right mind, knowing all of this I have just told you would do this to themseves? 

Me, the me who knows that this is the only thing in the world that feels right to me right now.  The me who cannot wait to bring home a squeaky, squirmy little creature and know that there is no greater joy in life than to be able to have the blessing of a family.  The me that realizes that I will feel human again, and this is really the least I can do for that opportunity.  Because, I know what it feels like to be denied that even for a little while. In a way, I would love to be one of those ladies who glows the whole time she is pregnat and can tell everyone at 16 weeks, but that is not us.  My nieghbor has already guessed.  My 10 year old boy who is pretty oblivious knows no one pukes that often.   Every person who sees me wonders of I have the plauge.  It is kind of hard to pretend that the Flu lasts for 10 weeks.  At least we had Christmas break and all that vacation to hide behind for a little while.  (My previous post should have really said, Morning Sickness sucks, I mean it bites it big time.)

Oh, I am so in love with the idea of this baby.  I cannot wait to pull out the newborn onsies and diapers and marvel about what could possibly fit into something that small.  I am a teensy bit nervous about the idea of four kids, but at this point, they already outnumber us.  Oh and if you were wondering "At what point do people start to say really nosy and stupid things about family planning?"  That is at kid number 4.  Even your sisters will say before Congratulations, Wow, so was this planned?  Wow, so was this a surprise?  I think to myself "What is if was?"  What do you say to that.  I mean let me put it this way.  I have worn glasses since second grade.  I don't know how people see without glasses.  Similarly I have no frame of reference for getting pregnant without lots of effort.  So even if you can have something just happen, why is it anyones business if it did?  Thanks for letting me rant that last little thought out.